I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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