Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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