He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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