Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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