it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
