the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He has the fingertips of a God
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