Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
