She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
