I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
