He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
