I CAN MOONWALK!
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
