Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
