okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize