Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize