you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
