just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
