How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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