Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
