So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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