For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize