Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
