Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
false alarm, still single
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize