Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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