somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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