he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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