Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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