we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
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