it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
