This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
