# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
