She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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