C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
