why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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