My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
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i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
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Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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