I feel like abortions should bother me more
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
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This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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