I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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