try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
