So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
