woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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