i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight