i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I seem to have left my pride at pride
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
where are you?
Hypothermia
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
