you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.