i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Is it penis luge time yet?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.