Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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