cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
