there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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