what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
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Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Boobs speak an international language.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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