peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize