We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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