I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
