Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize