On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
