Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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