Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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