if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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