I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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