If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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