you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
