Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
