i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
