This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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